8th February 2023
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I have no voice
It’s been quite a while since I wrote a blog. The reason is that I became quite ill some time before Christmas and one impact was losing my voice on 22nd December. It sticks in my memory as it took 6 weeks to return, with thanks to a wonderful speech therapist, Sam Beswick, recommended by my ENT specialist.
I don’t think I’ve ever quite understood the phrase “I’ve lost my voice” so completely until now. Of course for me it was literal, but it was also metaphorical. I felt I was robbed of communicating and of being fully heard. At times people would defer to the person with me, because they were the one to speak, and it was as if I wasn’t there, or at least was somehow less worthy of attention because of my speechlessness. And on Zoom calls I was grateful to people who noticed my comments in the chat box.
I can’t pretend for an instant to know what it is like to feel marginalised, not to be heard all the time. This was just 6 weeks and with exercises I have learned to speak again despite problems with my vocal cords. I feel there is always learning from experiences, sometimes we are seeking out that learning, and sometimes it rather creeps up on us and raps us on the shoulder and says “take notice.” I am taking notice, and I am wondering where that will lead. There’s so much I take for granted. And I am so grateful to family, friends, colleagues and Sam for their support.
